theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
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