Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Randomize
