So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
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last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
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