I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
We are all done wearing pants today
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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