The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
Randomize
