literally had 100 drinks last night.
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Randomize
