She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
Randomize
