he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
My cat gives me a boner
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
Randomize
