Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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