super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize
