so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Randomize
