Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
Randomize
