your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
