I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
I need mimosas to revive my soul
Randomize