shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
Randomize
