Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
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