he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
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