I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
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