dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
