Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
