and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
Randomize
