i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
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