I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
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