her vagine was all disorganized.
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
Randomize
