yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
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