He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
being pregnant is like rehab
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
Randomize
