What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
Randomize
