separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize