I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
Dignity is for republicans.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
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