oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
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