Walk of Shame. In a state park.
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
They have beer where we have blood.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
Randomize
