I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
one two three fourrrrnication!
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
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