you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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