Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
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