He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
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