I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Randomize
