If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Randomize
