oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
its not stalking. its research.
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
