I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
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