He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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