Cold hands, warm shart.
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
Randomize
