Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
Randomize
