Umm I'm too high to move.
well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
Randomize
