You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
