I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
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