she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
