Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
