i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Randomize
