He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
Randomize
