Its about making memories worth repressing
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
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