I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
did i just pee glitter
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
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