We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize
