you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
bring money and cleavage
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
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