used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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