i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
Randomize
