You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
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