sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Randomize
