It's like God shit irony all over that family
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
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