Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
Randomize
