Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
You ruined the universe
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
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